To the Lonely Christian

    I can't even begin to tell you the amount and diversity of emotions I've felt this month. I've been watching and praying for friends dealing with unimaginable tragedy. I got to greet the newborn of other friends, and rejoice in their new blessing. And I've been tediously plugging away working in the Wal-Mart bakery. All of this coming on the heels of one of the hardest years of my life, looking into one of the most hope-filled and exciting year to come.

     All the while, I've been praying about my struggle with loneliness. Looking back it's quite clear to see that I've come quite a ways. Bad feelings that have faded with time. But it is still there. Haunting. And friends, I don't have an answer. (Probably not what you were hoping to hear). That sinking feeling that I won't get to experience God's institution of marriage. Or that I'll never be able to stay in a strong, Christ-centered, and caring community.

     I don't want to give you over-used and hollow cliches. I don't want to try to make things seem like it will all turn out okay and your dreams will come true. Because I honestly don't know. I don't know if the feelings will ever go away, if they will be strange occurrences instead of the norm. I don't know that your tragedy will be redeemed in a way you will get to see. I don't know. Charles Spurgeon struggled with depression from his 20s until he died at the age of 57.

     But. (I love that word). But God is not idle in your loneliness. He actually cares how you feel. (That fact continually blows my mind). And He is at work in your heart, and I am confident that He is using you, even in this lower state.

     And that's kinda all I got. I don't have any stunning revelation, I don't have a list of tips. All I know is that the cross will ALWAYS be enough. Brother, sister, when you are at your weakest, when the darkness keeps smothering the light, when you don't want to face tomorrow, look at the cross. I can promise you that seeing Jesus bear the weight of your evil will always give you grace for the moment.

"My sin, Oh the bliss
Of this glorious thought
My sin, Not in part
But the whole
Is nailed to the cross
And I bear it no more
Praise the Lord
Praise the Lord, Oh my soul"

-Horatio Spafford
"It is Well" Verse 3